62 Comments

Perfect start to my day of reading. I really love your work, Abha, and how much it challenges me to think more critically. I read this piece with the eyes of my 14-year-old self. She needed to hear it. Will be thinking about this one for some time to come

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Thank you for your kind words, Amal. This was a cathartic piece to write. I am glad I could make you think.

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The man in my might also mostly be a woman (mom) who still has a man in her head.

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the margaret atwood quote!!!! I nodded so hard, I have a love-hate relationship with that quote (love how accurate it is, hate how i’m now haunted by it almost everyday since reading it). but this piece is so reassuring, that it’s possible to kill the man inside your head, or at least have him lay dormant. it’s such a tough battle, even accepting that he’s there has not been easy. thank you for sharing, it feels like a hug🫶🏽

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sending more virtual hugs way. you can do it. i believe in you.

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Meet the people "inside" your head. I wrote about the 8 archetypes inside our mind based on the cognitive theory by Carl Jung and I can't help but resonate with your framing of "the man inside your head". https://chusana.substack.com/p/inside-our-minds-via-the-8-cognitive

Supposedly, there is the hero (your most dominant trait), parent, child, infant - these archetypes operate in the conscious so you are aware of them. Then there's the nemesis, critic, trickers and demon inside the unconscious.

I realised that I have lots of critical voices coming out when I'm most down. Ironically, for my experience, it wasn't mens voice but my own mother criticising me.

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Interesting. I'll look into it

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Jung is the OG and there is a newer idea called IFS. It's about diff parts of our psyche protecting us (exiles, managers, and firefighters). It's pretty cool https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model

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This is breathtaking Abha. I wrote about this a bit, but you nailed it on the head. I am killing him a lot lately, and this is helping. I am so grateful you wrote this.

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Thank you for your kind words. More power to you.

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i think the man in my head is actually my mom??????

loved reading this < 3

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I fear the man inside my head is also my dad…

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Oh definitely. I thought of him too.

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"My grandmother explains to me that without the man inside her head, she will lose her way, culture will crumble, and society will collapse."

oh my goodness, this hit me like a truck

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do I have your permission to print this and post it on my walls

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ayyy, you do, bestie. print it. post it. distribute it.

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that atwood quote haunts me everyday

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G’damn I wish I’d thought of this as a topic. Such an inspired piece!

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Resonated with me entirely. I too have a "man" in my head. I set out to murder him a long time ago he didn't die but is in a coma. Occassionally he mumbles something to me but I do my best not to listen to him. Great piece !

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My day starts here. Thankyou❤️

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had to sit down after reading this - absolutely stunning way of putting it

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I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing. Great writing!!!

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Chefs kiss 🤌

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