Perfect start to my day of reading. I really love your work, Abha, and how much it challenges me to think more critically. I read this piece with the eyes of my 14-year-old self. She needed to hear it. Will be thinking about this one for some time to come
the margaret atwood quote!!!! I nodded so hard, I have a love-hate relationship with that quote (love how accurate it is, hate how i’m now haunted by it almost everyday since reading it). but this piece is so reassuring, that it’s possible to kill the man inside your head, or at least have him lay dormant. it’s such a tough battle, even accepting that he’s there has not been easy. thank you for sharing, it feels like a hug🫶🏽
Meet the people "inside" your head. I wrote about the 8 archetypes inside our mind based on the cognitive theory by Carl Jung and I can't help but resonate with your framing of "the man inside your head". https://chusana.substack.com/p/inside-our-minds-via-the-8-cognitive
Supposedly, there is the hero (your most dominant trait), parent, child, infant - these archetypes operate in the conscious so you are aware of them. Then there's the nemesis, critic, trickers and demon inside the unconscious.
I realised that I have lots of critical voices coming out when I'm most down. Ironically, for my experience, it wasn't mens voice but my own mother criticising me.
This is breathtaking Abha. I wrote about this a bit, but you nailed it on the head. I am killing him a lot lately, and this is helping. I am so grateful you wrote this.
Love this!!! Would love to think about how sometimes the man in my head is a woman? I fear that in my head is actually a woman who has or had a man in her head. How the women who value and subscribe to the male gaze make me feel? Or maybe just my mom when she told me I should get a body wax when I complained about boys not liking me (she’s changed since then and i was steadfast in my rejection of that)
I loved your questionable approach! I have wanted to name the voice in my head, which always judges other women regardless. I want him dead, but as you said it's not easy. I also think the purest form of friendship is between women. thank you for this essay.
Such a lovely message, reading this made me emotional cause it brought me back to my own times where my younger self felt so alone, with my own judgement, with my own self-criticism based on the perceptions I had of what I should live up to. That younger me would have wanted to hear the words you shared. Your writing is so impactful and thank you for sharing it💗
Perfect start to my day of reading. I really love your work, Abha, and how much it challenges me to think more critically. I read this piece with the eyes of my 14-year-old self. She needed to hear it. Will be thinking about this one for some time to come
Thank you for your kind words, Amal. This was a cathartic piece to write. I am glad I could make you think.
The man in my might also mostly be a woman (mom) who still has a man in her head.
real
the margaret atwood quote!!!! I nodded so hard, I have a love-hate relationship with that quote (love how accurate it is, hate how i’m now haunted by it almost everyday since reading it). but this piece is so reassuring, that it’s possible to kill the man inside your head, or at least have him lay dormant. it’s such a tough battle, even accepting that he’s there has not been easy. thank you for sharing, it feels like a hug🫶🏽
sending more virtual hugs way. you can do it. i believe in you.
Meet the people "inside" your head. I wrote about the 8 archetypes inside our mind based on the cognitive theory by Carl Jung and I can't help but resonate with your framing of "the man inside your head". https://chusana.substack.com/p/inside-our-minds-via-the-8-cognitive
Supposedly, there is the hero (your most dominant trait), parent, child, infant - these archetypes operate in the conscious so you are aware of them. Then there's the nemesis, critic, trickers and demon inside the unconscious.
I realised that I have lots of critical voices coming out when I'm most down. Ironically, for my experience, it wasn't mens voice but my own mother criticising me.
Interesting. I'll look into it
Jung is the OG and there is a newer idea called IFS. It's about diff parts of our psyche protecting us (exiles, managers, and firefighters). It's pretty cool https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model
"My grandmother explains to me that without the man inside her head, she will lose her way, culture will crumble, and society will collapse."
oh my goodness, this hit me like a truck
This is breathtaking Abha. I wrote about this a bit, but you nailed it on the head. I am killing him a lot lately, and this is helping. I am so grateful you wrote this.
Thank you for your kind words. More power to you.
i think the man in my head is actually my mom??????
loved reading this < 3
Absolutely for me. But I know she has her own as well. It doesn’t make it easier to forgive
Love this!!! Would love to think about how sometimes the man in my head is a woman? I fear that in my head is actually a woman who has or had a man in her head. How the women who value and subscribe to the male gaze make me feel? Or maybe just my mom when she told me I should get a body wax when I complained about boys not liking me (she’s changed since then and i was steadfast in my rejection of that)
i love how vulnerable and authentic this comment is. thank you for sharing your story!
I fear the man inside my head is also my dad…
Oh definitely. I thought of him too.
that atwood quote haunts me everyday
I loved your questionable approach! I have wanted to name the voice in my head, which always judges other women regardless. I want him dead, but as you said it's not easy. I also think the purest form of friendship is between women. thank you for this essay.
do I have your permission to print this and post it on my walls
ayyy, you do, bestie. print it. post it. distribute it.
I love your writing style and tone, this was very powerful
Fuuuuuuck. How very true. For me, it’s my father. Thank you for putting this into words.
I needed to read this. TY
Such a lovely message, reading this made me emotional cause it brought me back to my own times where my younger self felt so alone, with my own judgement, with my own self-criticism based on the perceptions I had of what I should live up to. That younger me would have wanted to hear the words you shared. Your writing is so impactful and thank you for sharing it💗